(This article appeared in The Sentinel on December 29, 2013)
“Yet somehow our
society must make it right and possible for old people not to fear the young or
be deserted by them, for the test of a civilization is in the way that it cares
for its helpless members”—wrote Pearl S Buck in ‘My Several Worlds’.
Respect for elders has long been ingrained in our psyche.
From our very childhood, we have been told to obey our parents and teachers and
respect our elders. We were taught to be always courteous to them and listen to
their advice, the same being reiterated in the ‘moral science’ classes we took
as children.
Religious texts across religions have stressed the special
relations between the young and the elderly, with the Bible saying, “Young men,
in the same way be submissive to those who are older”, or the Taitriya
Upanishad mandating, “Revere your mother and father as God.”
In the Mahabharata, the wise Vidura advises Yuddhishthira
thus, “tasmad dharma–pradhanéna bhavitavyam yatatmana | tatha cha
sarva–bhutéhu vartitavyam yathatmani ||” which in short means “…righteousness
is the best quality to have, wealth the medium and desire the lowest.
Hence, by self–control and by making righteousness your main
focus, treat others as you treat yourself.”
So, by being helpful to our elderly, we are setting an
example for our children who often learn some of life’s most important lessons
by example.
The Assamese have always prided itself as a community which
cares for its elders. We regard our elders as the conscience keepers of
society, the bridge between tradition and modernity. Reverence for the elderly
is not limited to our parents or grandparents only; this reverence extends to
all elderly persons, even beyond the pale of our acquaintance.
But with changes in our social fabric, our elderly have lost
the reverence and respect they were once accorded. There have been increasing
instances of elderly abuse in the state, with a disturbing number of elders
being turned to the streets by their children and grandchildren.
We only need to look around us to find instances of these
disturbing and recurring incidents. Even a casual look at everyday incidents on
the public transport systems and other public services will give a picture of
the utter disregard for the elderly and the gradual breaking down of social
norms. Often the elderly are forced to jostle in crowded buses and other public
transport and get caught in ugly arguments with able–bodied passengers even to
get access to the seats reserved for them.
Here I recall a small incident narrated to me by an
acquaintance that took place in a city bus recently. It was a hot day in
summer when she took the bus. It was already crowded when an elderly person
boarded the bus, and looked around for a seat. The seat reserved for elderly
persons was already occupied by two young men, who were least bothered to
offer the reserved seat to its rightful occupant.
After sometime the conductor came around and told the
youngsters to vacate the seat for the elderly person. But instead of complying,
the young men started arguing angrily, saying that they deserved to sit wherever
they wished as they had ‘paid full fare for the journey’. No amount of
persuasion helped, nor did an attempt to point out the ‘Reserved for Elderly’
sign above the seat. In fact, things reached such a pitch that the elderly
gentleman himself interceded and said he did not want to sit at all!
Such adverse experiences often leave the elderly confused
and embarrassed and turn into deterrents for voicing such just concerns in the
future, thus depriving them of the services they are entitled to.
Such incidents are not isolated cases, but occur quite
frequently. A report by Help Age India in 2012 has indicated that Guwahati
ranked the second highest in elderly abuse with 60.55 percent cases. Around 40
per cent men and almost similar proportion of older women selected disrespect
as the most important constituent of abuse followed by neglect and verbal abuse
during the survey.
Where are we going as a society, if we cannot respect and
protect the vulnerable sections of our population? Our elderly do not want our
sympathy– they simply crave our love and respect. What does it cost a strapping
young man or woman to offer a seat in a public transport or give an elderly
person the preference in a queue? It is true that in today’s fast paced world,
many of us often do not find time to think about others. But whenever we see
someone elderly, we should pause to help out in any manner possible, for our
present is their past and their present our future.
Then there is the Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and
Senior Citizens Act 2007 which can ward off attacks against the elderly and
also act as an enabling law for the elderly in need of help. But nothing can really persuade us to treat our elders kindly, until we imbibe
responsibility within ourselves. We do not push a child aside to grab a seat or
walk away if a child falls down in front of us. We care for them because they
cannot take care of themselves and we as adults realize it. The same applies to
senior citizens as well.
Just as we were helped by people we know and sometimes even
by those who we do not, because we needed their help as children; so also,
today we owe the elderly our attention and help. It is our responsibility to
look out for them, be they our relatives or even someone on the streets. Few
ever ask for assistance on their own– for fear of imposing themselves on us.
But when our elders face health issues and other problems, it is our bounden
duty to shoulder the responsibility. It is but a sweet ‘thank you’ for our safe
childhood and our hope of a more assisted old age.